This is the story of three friends, told solely through the medium of instant message. Relationship Status: The Fact That This Is the #1 Most Banned/Challenged Book In 2009 Makes Me Snort Beer Up My Nose. 'Think of it this way: Now you've officially talked to him.Offenses To My Ladylike Sensibilities: Drunken Nudity, Denigrating Christianity, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group 'Oh, please,' Thelma says, pulling me into a sideways hug. I was surrendering myself to abject humiliation.'

'Your hand was like a little periscope,' Jolene says. 'I can't believe you waved at him,' DeeDee says. 'Oh my God, I'm going to have to quit school and become a nun.' 'I'm so glad, since that was my deepest desire,' I say. Peals of laughter resound from our table, and the others in the cafeteria look at us funny. I'm happy to help out.' With that, he stride jauntily to the food line. 'Just keep me in the loop if you do decide to bear my children. His expressions is amused, and I grow even hotter. I twist around and give Mitchell the quickest of glances. Thelma, DeeDee, and Jolene are close to peeing their pants.įine. 'Hi, Mitchell.' I try to pull my hand from his grasp, but he won't let go. 'Pleased to meet you,' says the male-persuasion person. 'Um, hi,' I say to the person behind me whom I'm still not looking at. I shrink in my chair, but I raise my hand over my head and wave. 'If you change your mind, we might be able to work something out,' the person of the male persuasion says.

It's freaky and alarming how much heat is radiating from one little me. 'Okaaay, I think maybe I won't turn around,' I announce.Ī person of the male persuasion clears his throat. The way she sucks on her lip makes me nervous. Her gaze travels upward to someone behind me. Jolene turns beet red, and she and DeeDee dissolve into mad giggles. 'I said'-I raise my voice-'I am not having Mitchell Truman's children!'

If they're going to embarrass me, then I'll embarrass them right back. Her expressing says, Shhh, you crazy girl!īut I don't care. Jolene is shaking her head and pressing back laughter. Am I right? Before they have their brood of brown-haired, blue-eyed children?' 'The thing is,' Thelma says, 'and yes, I know, this is the tricky part-but I'm thinking Bliss has to actually talk to him. 'If your kids get his blue eyes and your dark hair-wouldn't that be fabulous?' 'What if you get married? Don't you want to go to fancy dinners with him and be proud?' 'True-he needs to work on his posture,' Thelma says.

Ttyl by lauren myracle